Rebecca's Whinging Part 1

Socialisation. It seems so simple. I mean it’s just talking to people right? Short of being mute, what’s so difficult? Having suffered with anti

Going to Dictionary.com I found anti-social defined as:-socialism myself it is not a matter of being unable to talk but an inability to form bonds of trust.

1.unwilling or unable to associate in a normal or friendly waywith other people: He's not antisocial, just shy.

2.antagonistic, hostile, or unfriendly toward others; menacing;threatening: an antisocial act.

3.opposed or detrimental to social order or the principles onwhich society is constituted: antisocial behavior.

4.Psychiatry . of or pertaining to a pattern of behavior inwhich social norms and the rights of others are persistently violated.

Note that all of these definitions seem to talk about anti-socialism as if it is the fault of the sufferer. Too many times I’ve had someone tell me ‘Just go talk to them’, ‘Go make friends’ as if it is that easy. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t approach someone without thinking that they they thought I was weird but were too polite to tell me to go away. I could never approach someone because of this.

The other night a movie called Mr.Magorium's Wonder Emporium came on TV and one scene particularly stuck out to me. This young kid named Eric is shunned by the other kids for being kind of eccentric. Anyway in this scene Eric has a talk with his mum.

Mum: We agreed you could come from camp early if you made an effort to make some friends.

Eric: It's not my fault people don't like me.

Mum: People love you- once they get the chance to know you.

Eric: No, they don't. They think I'm weird.

Mum: Because you build sculptures by yourself.

Eric: Because nobody wants to play with me.

Mum: Have you asked anyone to play with you?

Eric: Not really.

Mum: Well, Eric, you have to give people a chance.

Eric: I know what'll happen.

Mum: You don't, sweetheart. Trust me, people are always full of surprises.

And I was watching this scene and thought, THATS ME! People who are anti-social can’t just go up and talk to someone because they just have that feeling that they’ll be rejected.

Y,see my problem was that even when people were polite to my face, I never knew whether they were being sincere, or whether they just messing with me. I had bad experiences with girls in high school who would act friendly and ask me patronising questions and then go and laugh with their friends about the answers I gave. I wonder if they knew I could see them laughing.

Most people are never outright rude. They’ll be snide, they’ll be patronising and they’ll laugh behind your back but they’ll never be sincere.